I thought today was going to be like every other day with ramen, but I was sorely mistaken… Maybe someday, someone out there, thousands of years in the future will unearth my jerky-like, dried corpse and wonder what my life was like prior to attempting to make a cup of HEYROO Shin Buldalk Bibimmyeon. They will undoubtedly have to pry the paper chalice of noodles from my dehydrated, crispy fingers, and gaze upon the petrifying fury still present on my decrepit expression. May they be warned of the horrors of the curse that will be conjured upon releasing that cup from the flesh of my cold, bony fingers. A curse, so unimaginably horrifying in this lifetime and the next, that it matches the anger and frustrations I had to experience when making these noodles. The malediction of never being able to taste ramen, EVER AGAIN! If a local supermarket or your South Korean friends have damned you to the same fate that I hath suffered, I hope this how-to guide will provide you with a swift and unagonizing death. May you rest in pieces!
Step 1.) Remove the lid and remove the: mayonnaise packet, seaweed sesame powder, noodles, and liquid Buldalk sauce
Step 2.) Boil enough water (*nothing in instructions and no fill line)
Step 3.) Pour the boiling water into the cup
Step 4.) Take the noodles out of the plastic package and place in the cup. Wait for the noodles to become soft (*no time stated in instructions)
Step 5.) Drain the water from the cup using the holes on the plastic lid
Step 6.) Add the liquid Buldalk sauce to the noodles
Step 7.) Place the cup in the microwave and cook for 1 minute and 30 seconds in a 700 watt microwave
Step 8.) Add the seaweed sesame powder
Step 9.) Add the mayonnaise
Step 10.) Mix and Enjoy!
I never knew that ramen could be so stressful! I think it would be easier to make ramen from scratch than to follow all of these convoluted steps. The instructions were also so vague that I nearly pulled out my hair trying to figure out what to do. These noodles are not off to a great start with my on-going review. If you picked up a cup of these noodles and are looking to eat something today, may the gods have mercy on your withered corpse.
Do you prefer ramen noodles that have clear and concise instructions? Are you bothered by instant noodles that have a lengthy preparation time? Let me know in the comments!
If you’re interested in hearing more about instant ramen, check out my on-going series, Noodle Story: An Exploration of Korean Instant Noodles, here on Medium.