Setting the bar extremely low, possibly lower than it has ever been before, Paldo Majangmyeon, is an unappetizing, punch in the jaw that should be avoided at all costs. I’m not quite sure how these noodles won the number one spot on the TV series, Pyeonseutolang, but clearly there was some foul play involved. Either the judges and critics lack the ability to properly taste food or Paldo wanted this one to be the winner so they could easily cut corners to increase their profit margin. Palae Tangmyeon is an infinitely better cup of noodles in all aspects, but somehow only managed to pull fourth place? Come on… What an absolute train wreck of a show that must have been!
Flavor:
Welcome to flatland, a one-dimensional reality where everything tastes like peanuts! The flavor of these noodles is sweet, creamy, and nutty, with nutty being the most prominent flavor here. There are almost no flakes of other vegetables, meat, or seafood. You only get to have noodles in sauce! It must have been incredibly cheap for Paldo to produce these noodles and make a killing on their customers. The only thing that makes these noodles even edible is the MSG.
God forbid you look up what actual Ma Jiang Mian looks like on the internet. You will be shocked at the difference!
When I think of delicious nutty noodles, I instantly think of Pad Thai. Everyone knows what makes Pad Thai so tasty. It has complex flavor combinations that enhance and help make the noodles more dynamic, yet cohesive. The flavors in Pad Thai are: sweet, nutty, sour, citrusy, savory, and spicy. You couldn’t possible pack more flavor into a single dish. But, what happened to all of these flavors in this similarly peanut flavored cup of instant noodles? I would love to see the reactions from Taiwanese people who are very familiar with these noodles. It might literally bring them tears of sadness.
Spiciness:
I’ve said this before, but these noodles could be accurately described as baby food. They are not spicy at all. 99.9 percent of the flavor comes from sweetness, but there is this indistinct spiciness that is almost imperceptible to my tongue.
Smell:
Just exactly like the flavor, these noodles are one-note. They smell entirely like sweetened peanuts or cheap peanut butter with unhealthy doses of additives inside.
Noodles:
I would call these slightly enhanced basic ramen noodles. They are thicker than normal ramen and a bit wavier too. The cook on the noodles was good after following the proper cooking procedures listed on the package. Nothing remarkable, but not bad at all.
Overall:
I’m not sure I can say enough bad things about this cup of noodles. It’s absolute garbage and quite frankly, disrespectful to everyone who buys this product, especially people who are passionate about their ramen. Paldo should be ashamed of these noodles. They deserve all the negative publicity coming their way. They are bland, one-dimensional, and lacking in ingredients. They inaccurately represent the authentic version of these noodles. And, worst of all, we were clearly lied to with their marketing. In no possible reality in the multiverse do these noodles truly deserve to be a gold medal winner. I pity those who buy this cup of noodles without first reading this and other reviews. Your money will be wasted. Avoid this cup of noodles like the current pandemic.
If you’re interested in hearing more about instant ramen, check out my on-going series, Noodle Story: An Exploration of Korean Instant Noodles, here on Medium.
Note: This article may contain affiliate links that support the author’s ramen purchases for these how-to guides and reviews.
